


Living a Lie

by Roadrunner74



Category: Mach GoGoGo | Speed Racer, Speed Racer (2008)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-06
Updated: 2011-06-06
Packaged: 2017-10-20 05:06:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/209057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roadrunner74/pseuds/Roadrunner74





	Living a Lie

It was near midnight when a sleek yellow and black racing machine made its way through the winding roads of a small cemetery on the edge of town. The car slowed to a stop, and a man in a black leather racing suit climbed out of the car. The man wore a mask that was black like his suit with a white X on it that matches the one across his chest.

 He wasn’t surprised that he had ended up here, he always did. This was the only place that he could lay out his wounds and be the man that was behind the mask and the new face. The only place where he was both hurt and comforted at the same time; it was here that he found his purpose to continue his work.

 But tonight was different, he had just left Taejo Togokahn by the side of the road; the man’s comment about justice had been like a blow to the stomach. He wondered what it felt like to be so indifferent to the criminal underworld. To think of justice as a commodity, a thing that could be lived without.

 His _life_ was trying to bring criminals to justice. He wanted to scream; scream loudly at the world, and tell them all what the injustice of this world had done. Taejo had to know that the threats were real, that his family was in danger; if the criminals weren’t brought to justice.

 Moving slowly through the cemetery, as though every step is physically painful; he comes to a stop in front of a particular headstone. He stood staring at the stone, and for the first time in a long time, tears welled up in his eyes. He didn’t even try to fight them, instead he removed his mask and allowed the salty tears to stream down his face.

 Kneeling down in front of the stone, his fingers came to rest on the name of the person he had wanted to protect the most; the one that he had failed in the time when it counted. He had come close, but it had not been good enough.

 He closes his eyes, as the images that forever tormented him at night hit him like a barrage of glass from a broken windshield. He could remember the day that had changed the entire course of his life; leading him to be where he was right now…

 

********

“ _Speed still out on his go cart?” Rex asked as he finished adjusting the convergenator of the engine that was on the hoist in front of him._

  _Pops shook his head. “I imagine he’ll be back sooner rather than later. You know how he is, he’ll go take a few laps around the park; then come back and try to talk you into helping him with his car, so he can go practice today.”_

  _Rex glanced over in the corner where Speed’s GX-82 sprint car sat in need of a rebuild. The small white racecar was a near carbon copy of the car Rex had began racing with when he was Speed’s age; only instead of the white on red that Rex preferred; Speed’s colors were red on white._

  _He felt bad that he and Speed had been forced to break their plans. Rex had promised him that they would be able to finish Speed’s racer this afternoon and take it to the track to practice. But Mach 4’s engine needed an overhaul done before the race this weekend. And since Speed didn’t have a race for another three weeks; the Mach 4 needed the work done first in order to be able to race._

  _And today, Speed’s energy level was on the high side; to the point that even Rex had a hard time keeping up. So Rex had suggested to Speed that he go for a ride in his go cart as a way to pass the time; and hopefully burn off some of his excessive energy._

  _In the distance Rex’s ears caught the sound of Speed’s go cart flying down the street and smiled inwardly._

 _Pops perked up at the sound as well. “Sounds like he’s coming now.” Pops commented, knowing that the second Speed would get home he would try to get Rex to help him on his car._

  _Then Pops caught the additional sound of the ice cream truck. “Ah, wait, that’s Joe with his truck. He must be working the neighborhood early today. You know Speed can’t resist that jingle.” He suspected Speed would be delayed a bit and he’d come home with empty pockets, despite knowing that Mom wouldn’t approve of the sweets before dinner._

 _“I’ll bet ten to one: that he tries to finish it before he gets home and hide the evidence in his pocket.” Rex said with a grin, as he could already picture Speed cramming an ice cream bar into his mouth at an alarming rate._

 _Pops shook his head while trying to suppress a laugh; as he walked over to the toolbox to get the tool he needed. “You’d be making a fool’s bet, Rex. You and I both know Speed will come back with it all over his face.”_

 _Rex could only laugh and nod his head as he knew that Pops was right. But at the same time he knew Speed would try to hide the fact that he had the ice cream. Rex idly wondered what story Speed would tell to try to explain the ice cream._

 _Rex and Pops continued to work on the engine for a few more minutes in the silence of pleasant company. Then the sound of an explosion ripped through the air, and Rex’s stomach bottomed out; his heart already seemed to know the truth._

  _It took what seemed like hours, before Rex could get his muscles to finally obey his commands to move. When they did, Rex had found himself sprinting out of the garage and down the sidewalk at a speed that would impress even the fastest track-runner._

  _He was only a few feet from the remains of the go-cart, when he felt someone hold him back. Rex tries to pull away, trying to get to his brother, but the grip is too strong._

 “ _That’s my brother!” he hears his own voice, seemingly from a distance, screaming over and over; as he continues to try to fight his way to his brother’s side._

  _Somewhere though the foggy haze that had since enveloped his brain; he hears a voice that is vaguely familiar saying “You don’t want to remember him like this.”_

  _Remember him. Speed was hurt, but he would be fine. He had to be. Speed had to be alive. He had to grow up so he could become a Grand Prix champion. He had to be able to graduate high school, go to the prom, learn to drive a car, have his first kiss… and all the other memorable experiences that he would face in his passage into adulthood._

  _The grip on him momentarily weakens, as Rex paused from his fight. Seeing his opportunity, he wrenches himself out of the man’s grasp; propelling himself toward the wreckage once again. This time Rex manages to reach his younger brother’s side, but nothing could prepare him for what he saw._

  _Speed’s face is burnt, with blood running from a large cut on his forehead and a gash on his mouth. Speed’s yellow jacket had been turned brown from the explosion. Speed’s eyes are closed, and his body is as limp as a rag doll._

  _In a distance Rex’s ear picked up the sound of sirens blaring as they raced towards the scene. But Rex was too focused on Speed, looking for any sign of life; as he held his younger brother, his best friend, close to his chest._

  _Suddenly the paramedics are on scene. It took some convincing to on the part of the paramedics for Rex to let go of Speed. Rex stands helplessly off to the side watching the rescue team trying to find Speed’s pulse._

  _As Rex sinks to the ground, he felt something warm and sticky on his hands, causing him to look down at them. Blood that was not his own had began to drip off his skin and Rex realized at that horrible moment that his own hands were covered with his brother’s blood…._

 

*****

 _In the wreckage of Speed’s go-kart, the police had found not only Speed, but also a girl about the same age. The family was completely clueless as to who the girl was. It wasn’t until the girl’s family reported her missing that everyone put two and two together. She was in Speed’s class. Apparently Speed had been giving her a ride when the bomb went off._

  _Rex had looked up the girl’s photo in Speed’s school yearbook; he needed a face to go with her name. She was a cute little girl, with dark brown eyes and hair that hung down to her shoulders. And Rex would have liked nothing more than to hear the story, as Speedy would’ve undoubtedly told him, about how Speed had come to have her on the back of his go-cart._

  _Rex would have loved to be able to tease Speedy about his new found interest in girls. While his little brother would ask the questions that all young boys wonder when they discover girls. Especially when Pops sat him down to talk about ‘the carburetors and the crankshafts’; while Rex sat off to the side trying to keep from laughing at the confused look that would have inevitably formed on Speed’s face. A look that mirrored the one that had been on Rex’s when he had been the one to receive the talk._

  _The ice cream man had told the investigators how he had been stopped by Speed and the girl, Trixie was her name, and how Speed had acted like a teenage boy on his first date. He had seen the ‘68 Fenderson drive away from the street within moments of stopping for Speed._

  _Rex never said anything, but he knew who had at least given the order to have the bomb placed in Speed’s hand. The same man that had Rex followed everywhere by the same person, in the same black Fenderson._

 

 _*******_

 _The day of Speed’s funeral was the hardest day of his life. He had stood off to the side, like he would the day of his own funeral, unable to look at his parents as they grieved the loss of their younger son; knowing that it was his fault that they were in such pain._

  _A part of Rex wanted to run away from the cemetery. Just run away from the entire situation and find that the whole thing wasn’t real. He wanted to wake up to find this to be just a bad dream, that Speed was still alive and he would be running into his room the second he heard his alarm clock go off, jumping on the edge of his bed while babbling on about a race or wanting to work on his car._

  _As the minister spoke his smooth, easy words; those soft words of scripture almost seemed to add to the pain in his heart. As they seemed to drive in the fact that in the smooth, polished, flower covered, metal casket was his brother- his best friend; the young boy who was always on the go, never running out of energy. Speed: who could never in his life be still, would now be forever._

  _As the funeral ended, Rex once again took off running. He runs through the cemetery blindly not even stopping as he hears Pops yell his name. The farther he got, the harder he ran. Rex never was sure exactly where he had intended to go, but at the moment that didn’t matter to him._

  _That night he had arrived back home long after his mother had gone to bed; as the day had been too much for her. Pops had been sitting up waiting for Rex to return. Pops had been angry about the abrupt way that Rex had left the funeral and the fact that he was out so late. Rex only remembers Pops barely controlled voice lecturing him; but exactly what was said, he never could recall._

  _Rex had gone into his bedroom and opened the drawer to his desk. Inside was a hand gun he had purchased a few months back when he had started receiving threats from the same man who had the bomb placed in Speedy’s hand. Opening the box, Rex picks up the gun and opens the chamber. Picking up a bullet from the box of ammunition, Rex placed it in the chamber, and allowed it to close._

  _Looking at his desk, Rex sees a framed picture sitting on it. Picking it up, Rex stares at the faces in the photo. Tears burned in his eyes as he raised the gun, his gaze never leaving the photo in his hands. His finger began to tighten on the trigger, the hammer began to cock. At the last second, he let the trigger go…_  

***********

Racer X opens his hand to reveal a small, silver Matchbox car. He slowly set it on top of Speed’s stone, hearing the soft clicks of the wheels as they made contact with the stone. He always brought a Matchbox car with him to leave on top of the gravestone; because he knew just how much Speedy had loved them. As he and Speed used to play for hours every Sunday afternoon with the model tracks.

 Racer X reached into the pocket of his suit and pulled out a worn picture. They had been happy then. In the picture was him and Speed, leaning against the Mach 4. Even in the picture, X could see the admiration in Speed’s eyes as the stood together in the picture.

 Pulling out an envelope from the same pocket, he held it up to the moon light. He was able to read the address, it was to his parents. On the outside there was a note, asking the inspector to deliver it to his family. Inside was a letter he had written after his supposed death.

 It would tell his parents everything in painstaking detail: the truth behind Speed’s death, the way it had all been his fault; about the time between his leaving and the Casa Cristo; the identity of the body that was buried in what was suppose to be his grave; and everything that had happened to him after his funeral. Also inside was his high school ring, as a way of proving the truth behind the letter.

 Racer X pulled out his side arm, and removed the clip. Opening the chamber, he removed the bullet. Reaching in his pocket, Racer X pulled out a single bullet. It was the same one he had removed from the gun he had tried to use to end his life almost ten years before.

 He slowly placed it in the barrel of the gun with expert precision, as this was not the first time he had done the motions. Allowing the chamber to close, Racer X weighed his options as he allowed the weight of the gun to settle in his hands.

 A glace towards his left, Racer X’s eyes fell on the stone next to Speed’s. The name on the stone caught his attention. His parents had thought they had brought their sons together again, by burying who they thought was Rex next to Speed. And in a small way he was comforted by the fact that they had shown this small sign of allowing him back into the family again. Now he would be put to rest, hopefully next to Speed for real this time.

 Getting up from his crouched position in front of Speed’s grave stone; he moved to what was supposed to be his own. He would not end the pain inside him on Speed’s grave. The pain for what he had done in his life came from where he was standing now, and that was where he intended to put it to an end.

 With a final stare at the photo still in his hand, Racer X clicked off the safety on his sidearm. As he stared into Speed’s face, the weight of what he was about to do settled into his chest. Raising his head, Racer X looked towards Speed’s grave; as he raised the gun.

 “I’m so sorry, Speedy.” With those final words, the sound of a gunshot ripped through the quiet night. 

******

Rex woke up with a jolt. He was drenched in a cold sweat, and his breathing was labored, as his heart raced at a greater speed than the Mach 4. A quick look around the room assured him that he was still in his own room.

 The ringing in his ears kept on until he realized it was his alarm clock next to his bed. Slamming his hand down on the clock, Rex buried his face back in the pillows; trying to forget the disturbing images of his nightmare.

 A very familiar sound caught his ear, and both startled him and relived his anxiety from his dream at the same time. It was the sound of Speed running down the hall towards his room.

 A second later, Speed opens the door to his room about to do his normal wake up routine. But for some reason he stops short.

“Are you okay, Rex?” Speed asks, looking at him with the honest sincerity that only children can manage. And Rex can’t help but see that same face bloodied, burned, and dead for just a split second.

“Yeah,” he says, ruffling the boy’s hair and turning away with tears burning in his eyes. “Yeah; I’m okay, Speedy.”

 


End file.
